About Rose: I grew up in Singapore, lived in Melbourne but currently call London home. I love gastronomic adventures, especially while travelling. I stated writing at 17 to remember how it all began.
Archives:
02 October 2002
7.04pm;wednesday
during the exam period.. you tend to keep to yourself.. trying to take in as much info from all the textbooks and notes, you tend to quarantine yourself and you cut yourself away from the world.. for that brief period.. you become oblivious.. ignorant.. Just to attain those grades..so you hit the books again and again. Relentlessly reciting facts and doing TYS feverishly.. Then you reach a saturated point and the Law of Diminishing Returns sets in. Then it hits you..you wonder why you're wasting time online when you should be studying.
i hardly did any work today. i couldn't focus.. my mind kept straying. I know i'll screw up math tomorrow. and i'm expecting it. i'm fine with that. it's part of my plans. But i know i'll end up feeling crappy after my math paper... and in the afternoon i have GP... and GP is about being in the right mood. So i'll screw GP up too.. and i'll feel lousy and screw lit the next day. It's just so scary.. everyone's studying. i know my classmates will get their A's and i don't wanna be at the bottom of the barrel... i couldn't care less about that internship... just wanna get promoted.. i know i should push all my thoughts aside and concentrate.. but i can't seem to do that.. i've been studying and i want to do well.. but i don't know whether i can anymore.. i really don't.. all my classmates think i'll do well... they're saying things like "aiyah rose.. pls lah you'll sure do well".. and that pressure is immense.. everyone's just competing and pushing.. everyone's caught up and busy.. my sis is only back after mid nite..haven't talked to her for a while.. my bro and his PS 2... my mom & dad are away... and friends dearest to me.. just impossible to meet up... it's not anyone's fault.. i'm fine with it..really. just that this is the city life you get when you leave the country..
there's this void..want to clear it and let it out... at the same time i'm trying to retain all the facts in me.. i can't keep everything in.. but i couldn't let it all out either.. so.. i will hang in there.. for as long as i can.. and pray that everything will be alright...
"and anytime you feel the pain.. hey jude refrain
don't carry the world upon your shoulders.."
-Hey Jude, The Beatles