Thursday 10.12pm
I spent last week in Melbourne, Australia and my heart was bursting with joy but tinged with a reticence of feeling like parts of me belong to different lands and therefore never feeling whole anywhere. But I am sustained by the friendships forged and which remind me that I am lucky to be dancing the night away at Cara & Trent's engagement party; having late night dinners with the Vis girls, lunching with Ari, Julie and Simon; giving cuddles to Lina while I catch up with Rozzie & Steve; sharing giggles and gelato with Sherlynn before swapping life stories with Abby as we tuck into amazing Indigenous food; and spending a day at St Kilda Beach laughing with Sarah and sharing hot chips with Phil & Laura.
I returned to Singapore and attended Nicole's mom's funeral and celebrated Kin's wedding the day after. It has been non stop and it was not until Saturday evening when I found myself lying on the couch, watching Before Sunrise with my sister that I was reminded about life being a collection of moments. Sometimes they involve reconnecting with friends and parts of yourself that seem to have been dormant, other times it is about showing up for friends whether in the happiest or saddest of circumstances.
Amidst the happy and busy hustle, I am trying to remember to take it slow, and allow life to unfold in all of its uncertainty. To remember that when you let go and not worry about constantly making the most of every moment, the spaces in between allow for clarity of thought and, even if fleeting, the realisation that I am enough. I wish I could always remember "to be patient towards all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms, like books written in a foreign tongue" - Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke.